Penniless Dreams
10/15/2016
7:23 PM
A Page From The Diary Of A Girl
I always ask god why he has not given me a normal a life like other people. Whether it is the fate or the curse that is following us.
My name is Susan. I have this habit of writing journals. I like thorns over petals and peppers over ice cream. I have Mom, Dad, my two elder siblings Teresa and Tom . We live in a cabin that we have been able to afford with the couple of years savings. I have another sister Emily or should I say had until she married a filthy rich man , her boss who ordered never to look back nor reach out for the family . Emily being obedient to him left us forever . We led a very normal life sufficiently and happily once. Emily was mom's favorite. Since she is the eldest of us mom and dad saw the future of the whole family and leaped out for the sun for her . Giving her all the facilities and stuffs , education, cool wardrobe and everything. They never realized that she would be a thick hearted girl and would abandon the family so easily. All of us always adored Emily but now..
Mom was in her senior year in high school when she married dad. He was in college. It was actually an arranged marriage to say because both families were friends for so long and their grand parents wanted to make a family alliance before they closed their eyes and marriage happened that way. Very unusual in this century for something to happen like this. Soon both of them dropped out of their education when Emily happened to them. Both of them couldn't get a decent job for a long time because of the trouble with the certificates. But somehow managed to tie the end every month.
Mom and dad are two extremes . To say in short they never should have married each other . Their seems to based on a Zero-Romance Package. One say black when the other opinion white. So opposite that they don't share a single similar thing. Misunderstanding and fight is what always happens at this place called home. But they don't wanna get divorced too for the sake of us. They believe every child should grow up with his father and mother when they are alive and well.
I always wish I was never born. Dad is unemployed and old. Mom helpless . There are no much of a family connections now. We live now with Teresa's part time job after her college. She managed to get a full scholarship. Tom work too for his pocket money to survive among his peers. We struggle to have decent meals three times a day now. We had a beautiful house here . It was the time of peace and happiness in the family. Dad lost it to the bank not able to pay the loan taken to conduct Emily's marriage . Her day of marriage was the last day we saw her after all the luxurious accommodations and fun which we never knew would be our family's last day of happiness that was even borrowed. We couldn't afford the rent so we shifted and shifted all the time from place to place. Now with two years of saving Dad bought the cabin so that we need not waste bucks over rents. Buying stuffs are way too in distance for us. I now use Teresa's clothes were she use Emily's clothes which
she left behind.
Tom's and my high school education is now supported by my dad's sister. She pays all the fees and send us some funds every month to meet the school needs. But nobody knows it in the school. Tom , Teresa and I have put up an entirely different faces out in the public. That should say what people think of us.
I had dreams of buying cute clothes like my friends . I had dreams of going out with friends for dinners and movies . I had dreams to go on a date , to fall in love. I have dreams to look after my parents with all the facilities. But that will all just remain as dreams because I know my family and I cannot afford to hurt them forcing my reckless dreams on them. These dreams feels so far that its now too faded and hardly possible. I do sometimes feel so much pain that i cannot be like normal teenagers and have normal parents who love each other and understand each other. I often hate life so much. Only if the house wasn't taken away because of Emily , only if my parents had the sense that there are other children in the family , only if they stood together and fought forward things would have been different for all of us.
I have lost faith in marriages and love because of what life has taught me. I feel now life is a game that I , we are destined to lose.
But still i keep high hopes that some day some miracle would happen for all of us inside me. I have lost my childhood to something that was nobody's fault because nothing was done in proper conscious .
God isn't this enough already?
Probably this would be my last journal. Until I collect some Penny and save to buy a new book to write which may take another year.
Poverty is the meanest thing that could happen to anyone. But I thank god that at least we are better than some people who are literally helplessly all around the world. Save Us.
10/15/2016
7:23 PM
A Page From The Diary Of A Girl
I always ask god why he has not given me a normal a life like other people. Whether it is the fate or the curse that is following us.
My name is Susan. I have this habit of writing journals. I like thorns over petals and peppers over ice cream. I have Mom, Dad, my two elder siblings Teresa and Tom . We live in a cabin that we have been able to afford with the couple of years savings. I have another sister Emily or should I say had until she married a filthy rich man , her boss who ordered never to look back nor reach out for the family . Emily being obedient to him left us forever . We led a very normal life sufficiently and happily once. Emily was mom's favorite. Since she is the eldest of us mom and dad saw the future of the whole family and leaped out for the sun for her . Giving her all the facilities and stuffs , education, cool wardrobe and everything. They never realized that she would be a thick hearted girl and would abandon the family so easily. All of us always adored Emily but now..
Mom was in her senior year in high school when she married dad. He was in college. It was actually an arranged marriage to say because both families were friends for so long and their grand parents wanted to make a family alliance before they closed their eyes and marriage happened that way. Very unusual in this century for something to happen like this. Soon both of them dropped out of their education when Emily happened to them. Both of them couldn't get a decent job for a long time because of the trouble with the certificates. But somehow managed to tie the end every month.
Mom and dad are two extremes . To say in short they never should have married each other . Their seems to based on a Zero-Romance Package. One say black when the other opinion white. So opposite that they don't share a single similar thing. Misunderstanding and fight is what always happens at this place called home. But they don't wanna get divorced too for the sake of us. They believe every child should grow up with his father and mother when they are alive and well.
I always wish I was never born. Dad is unemployed and old. Mom helpless . There are no much of a family connections now. We live now with Teresa's part time job after her college. She managed to get a full scholarship. Tom work too for his pocket money to survive among his peers. We struggle to have decent meals three times a day now. We had a beautiful house here . It was the time of peace and happiness in the family. Dad lost it to the bank not able to pay the loan taken to conduct Emily's marriage . Her day of marriage was the last day we saw her after all the luxurious accommodations and fun which we never knew would be our family's last day of happiness that was even borrowed. We couldn't afford the rent so we shifted and shifted all the time from place to place. Now with two years of saving Dad bought the cabin so that we need not waste bucks over rents. Buying stuffs are way too in distance for us. I now use Teresa's clothes were she use Emily's clothes which
she left behind.
Tom's and my high school education is now supported by my dad's sister. She pays all the fees and send us some funds every month to meet the school needs. But nobody knows it in the school. Tom , Teresa and I have put up an entirely different faces out in the public. That should say what people think of us.
I had dreams of buying cute clothes like my friends . I had dreams of going out with friends for dinners and movies . I had dreams to go on a date , to fall in love. I have dreams to look after my parents with all the facilities. But that will all just remain as dreams because I know my family and I cannot afford to hurt them forcing my reckless dreams on them. These dreams feels so far that its now too faded and hardly possible. I do sometimes feel so much pain that i cannot be like normal teenagers and have normal parents who love each other and understand each other. I often hate life so much. Only if the house wasn't taken away because of Emily , only if my parents had the sense that there are other children in the family , only if they stood together and fought forward things would have been different for all of us.
I have lost faith in marriages and love because of what life has taught me. I feel now life is a game that I , we are destined to lose.
But still i keep high hopes that some day some miracle would happen for all of us inside me. I have lost my childhood to something that was nobody's fault because nothing was done in proper conscious .
God isn't this enough already?
Probably this would be my last journal. Until I collect some Penny and save to buy a new book to write which may take another year.
Poverty is the meanest thing that could happen to anyone. But I thank god that at least we are better than some people who are literally helplessly all around the world. Save Us.
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