Red And White

                                          Red & White

" Stay with me Anna " my mother pulled me closer to her side, crawling under table. All the black curtains were pulled down to hide the lights from the bombers. Jets and drones have been flying above our heads for more than two days now, but our place had not been hit so far. Civil war had taken thousands of  lives already. Families and friends were lying dead in the pools of blood. My father died in one of  the bomb blast three weeks back , and we couldn't even recognise his body shattered into pieces. Tears were flowing down my mother's cheeks as we crawled under the table. The jets kept flying around between the fine line of life and death.

"Anna i love you, you always made us proud your papa and me.You should grow into a beautiful and a very bold person" she kept saying with tears coursing down her cheek, as if she was chanting a mantra.

"Mama " i started to cry . It was dark outside.Jets had disappeared. There was no sound except the wind sailing over the dead city. Mama was packing hurriedly clothes, water, some stolen bread from the super market and little other things. She kept moaning as if she were in pain. But little did i knew then. "Anna we no longer have a home" she managed to speak. she knelt down and held me. "There's no more a place called home, no more safety around here we must go." she said trembling. But i was scared to death, having no idea about mama's plans. " Its time to leave" she said.

It was three in the morning , dark and cold. no sounds excepts for crickets crying far away and the sound of the cries of people and the souls. The stink of the corpses and blood were everywhere carried through the wind. Mama held my hands tightly in hers as we ran.

"where are we going mama ?" i asked her . " somewhere Anna" was the reply i could get.."somewhere Anna" it echoed in my ear . We kept running until we reached a crowded railway station . There were others families , children , pets, bags , loud screams and cries of the people. Most importantly there was love and care in the air around. "When is the train arriving ?" mama asked a man who was with a boy of my age.

"Anytime now" he replied . "Last one for the children out of the country" His voice shivered as he spoke. And i understood exactly what he meant. It meant mama couldn't come with me . It meant the end had come. I started to cry. Standing there , holding her hands, i could hear the train in the distance. "Mama , don't let me go, don't leave me like papa" i didn't know what to do. "No baby i won't" all i could see was the dead images of papa and my best friend Noel ."Mama " i kept crying . Mama struggled to put a smile on her face as she spoke " don't cry i'll be with you always " planting a kiss on my forhead and hugged me tightly.By this time the train  had arrived. There were more cries much louder than before. I wanted to run away from all this mess but i couldn't for my mother . I started to shiver not out of cold but with the terrible foreboding of  not being with mama and leaving her behind. We caught the first sight of the engine as it entered the station and i could feel my heart pounding louder than ever. Mama took me in her arms and rushed , pushing her way towards the wagons. As she found the door , and pushed me in. I didn't let her go but held on tight than before. "You have to go darling" she said, trying not to shed tears in front of me putting up a brave face.

"No mama don't leave , am scared" i said

"We all are honey... now don't cry and let go." she pulled back her hands from my grip. she smiled has her tears fell on my hands.

" Be a good child Anna and very courageous" she kept saying and i kept crying trying to jump out.

"Remember we all love you so much Anna, make us proud. she spoke like we are never gonna be together. the train started to whistle. she made me take the backpack.

"Mama don't leave. come with me." i yelled

"Iam right behind you Dear i'll be" she promised.

"No mama you're lying" i said. the train started to move. All around us, the voices became louder as the parents bade farewell to their children.

"mama " i screamed as the train took off.

" Be good, pray. i love you" was her last words. In a matter of seconds, the troops started marching into the station with machine guns. The screams became louder. At the same time , somebody open fired. smoke started to cloud as the train moved out of the station . I saw mama lying in a pool of blood. 

"mama " I screamed " mama" "mama" This time much louder but i knew now that she ' ll never come back and be with me like papa.

" mama" a blond lady with bright blue eyes pulled me in hugging me.

" Anna wake up, wake up it's ok, you're here.. you're with me" the same blond lady with her shining blue eyes hugged me and consoled me. i panted heavily , tears running down my cheek.

Eight years have gone by, and not a day passes without tears and nightmares. Every night I cried myself to sleep thinking of mama. Patricia gave me a life, shelter, food, education, and happiness. I was given a family , love, and care, yet nothing has changed. I always remained an orphan , a victim of war, a homeless refugee in the eyes of the world with a terrible past and gruesome memories. A life of lonliness. No power on earth could bring my mama and papa back. And nothing in this world belonged to me and its not just me.

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